What is the Difference between Republicans and Democrats?
Republicans say “Merry Christmas!” Democrats say “Happy Holidays!”
Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army. Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.
Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve. Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.
When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine. Democrats ask for a “Bud.”
When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog. Democrats watch for “incredible TV offers” on late night television.
Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays. Democrats save their time and money, and drive around at night to look at *other* people’s lights.
Democrats’ favorite Christmas movie is “Miracle on 34th Street.” Republicans’ favorite Christmas movie is “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Right-Wing Republicans’ favorite Christmas movie is “Die Hard.”
Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping. Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts … and reposition them to make sure they are seen.
Democrats wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season. Republicans do too, all year round.
Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas cards. Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.
Democrats’ favorite Christmas carol is “Deck the Halls.” Young Democrats’ favorite Christmas carol is “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”
Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree. Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices. Green Democrats buy a real tree with roots, and then replant it after New Years.
Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play “Cowboys and Indians.” Democrats don’t either, as long as the Indians win.
Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus. Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus.
Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals. On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
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